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Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Long and Winding Road

It seems funny that five years ago when I started this blog it was about decorating and traveling and holidays. Happy things that I loved to do, and was inspired to do because my Mom loved them too.   Somewhere along the line I got busy raising my family and sadly stopped posting anything at all. The name of this blog comes from my Mom's first name and middle name; Pearl Rose.  Which is ironic because that is what I now want this to be about...my Mom.  About the strange, and confusing realization that someone you love has something wrong that is not easily identifiable or curable.  That wakes you in the middle of the night because you think you've almost got your mind around it.  We still don't know what it is officially called because we are still traveling the road to discovery, enlightenment or utter desperation.  And while I try my best to keep my sanity intact and help my Mom any way I can I wanted to journal our journey so I remember how and when it all happened.

I realized about two years that something was not quite right with my Mom.  That would be February of 2015.  We were preparing for a 80th birthday celebration for her and started noticing little things she did or said that seemed odd.  Also, I noticed that she was staying home all the time!  She had literally become a recluse which wasn't her.  Almost avoiding people.  She hadn't come for a visit to see us in almost two years, which was very odd.  

The next most unsettling revelation was when I would come in town unannounced I would find her in dirty clothes with her hair not done and something burnt on the stove.  This was not my Mom.  She would make jokes to laugh my questions away.  She became very good and changing the subject.  But, I knew something was not right.  I talked to my husband about it but he said it was nothing, she was getting older.  I talked to my younger brother and he also hadn't noticed any changes.  But something gnawed at me about what I was feeling.

About this same time I heard from my Mom that her sister, Betty had been diagnosed with Alzheimers.    My Mom couldn't explain it very well, but had heard from Betty that they (her family) kept taking her to the doctors and she didn't know why; she wasn't sick so what was going on.  Her family had explained to her what the doctors had said but since it made no sense to her she rebuked it.  Which made my Mom do so as well.  

To be fair I had been around my Aunt and she seemed fine. She didn't seem ill.  She knew me and my kids, and Alzheimers meant you forgot everything.  This seems almost hysterical as I write this because that is not how this disease goes.  It steals bits and pieces while you're not even looking. Some days you are "on" and can fool everyone around you, especially in the beginning.  Other days you are at a loss for the most common words. 

So the journey begins...

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